Ok is not always ok.

The reality of today is that I’ve woken up feeling, well, low but beyond that I’m not sure I can articulate.

The reality of today is I’m two coffees in, my S.A.D. lamp is on, I’ve taken my anti-depressants and I’m trying to focus on the many to-dos of my day. My reality is messy, painful and it feels fragile.

I feel feabile and that, in the grand scheme of the events of this world, I need to buck up. However, my reality is that my mental health doesn’t always conform and my ok is not always what I want it to be. My reality is often that I’m plodding. That I am trusting there is more and there is better. Believing that my mental health is not ultimately in control of me or of who I am.

My reality today feels messy and broken but despite that I am still ok. I am still loved. My identity is not my mental health.